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Stick WIth Me, But Your Gonna Lose Below are the 10 most recent journal entries recorded in the "WastedLife" journal:

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September 10th, 2007
07:31 pm

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And She's Back....Momentarily...
i have not come to lj in such a long time. why? i dont know. laziness...no computer...which ever the reason, doesnt seem like i miss much it. ha.

so here's a story for the kiddies...brief update..well, until the arthitis decides to flare up (which im very convinced that i have).

*ive met an incredible human being that seems to keep breakin/tearing me apart. he's beautiful. i fell for him the moment i laid eyes on him. BUT for some reason he thinks everything is complicated or a responsibility. i dont get that state of mind...but who am i to judge. we're tryin to work shit out. we're goin all backwards when it comes to this relationship thing. i just wish he would make up his mind. about everything....us, his ex, his emotions...jesus fuckin christ. im supposed to be callin him right now to hang out but i really just want to chill at my house. fuck.

*i have the bestest friends that a girl could ask for. the 3 amigos and niki. haha. it's awesome to finally have people like them in my life. always there...soooo much fun. whether drinkin, drivin around, listenin to pop lock and drop, to shavin ones eyebrow while they're passed out. it's amazing. they make gettin up and facing the day worth it.

*also have been thinkin that i may move to MN or chicago or Iowa. i think it's iowa...haha. i need to get the fuck out of here. im goin insane. there's nothin here except my mom. i have no reason to stay minus my 3 bestest bitches. i dont know. all i know is that i need to get out otherwise im gonna lose it.

*dont seem to understand why people have an overwhelming feeling to start drama. ive never been one much to get into the foolish behavior...but a certain group of people are just startin up a whole lotta bullshit. the worst part is that it's ALL not true. they even threw my name out there. i havent done shit, only help out a friend. that's what i do. i help people out. the same way they took care of me when i was at a losing end. auugghhh. i wish people would just grow the fuck up. just cause your own situations arent workin out for you, that doesnt mean that you can try to fuck up someone elses jut to make urself look better.

that's all i even want to write about. just the skim of the brain. ha. all in all...life's just being a bitch. but with certain people it's somewhat tolerable. *sigh*

Current Mood: cynicalcynical
Current Music: big girls dont cry---lame yes i know

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March 18th, 2007
05:21 pm

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this has probably been one of the greatest week ever!
1. maybe got a new job
2. got brakes fixed
3. talked with troy alone
4. got an out of print PBR shirt

shit. other then that...that's it. im quite bored living like this though. i might lose any sort of life i may contain if i take this job. 3pm-3am sleep for maybe two hours then get up and go to school...we'll see if i make it out alive.

im a loser and still waiting for baby blue to come around. sheryl is not very good when it comes to hookin people up. OH and im getting a digital camera very soon...a canon rebel XT...cant fuckin wait!

Current Mood: restlessrestless

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February 20th, 2007
10:59 pm

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sleeping tea makes you jittery and bug eyed.....
my mami is leaving me tomorrow...not just to the west coast this time...down south...wayyyy south...going back to the motherland. if there is a god, it hates us. another family member has been taken from us. possibly another...i hope not.

how am i gonna deal with this darkness without her?

Current Mood: anxiousanxious

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January 14th, 2007
05:40 pm

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Man...

tomorrow i start school. i should be excited for this but not too much. probably cause ive waited for so long that i have exhausted any kind of energy that i had for it. oh well. im sure it'll rehit me tomorrow.

well, not a whole lot of anything goin on.
still havent met that kid sheryl keeps tryin to set me up with. i told her that i think this guy is in her imagination.
someone keeps tryin to "tie me down". one moment is "i dont want a relationship" the next he's tryin to talk me into bein with him. nah, that's alrite, thanks. im done doin long distance shit.ha.
my sister was here for a while. i can only take her in spurts. hung out with her for a while so im good until the next time. haha. yea i surprised myself for hanging out with her for so long. i sound like an awful person for that. i do need to keep my sanity somehow. oh, and she also got to see our brother. which is very good. it's about time.
got deathly sick this past week. fuckin sucked. tuesday nite sucked total ass. i was almost considering of campin out in front of the bathroom. then on wednesday they sent me home from work at noon. people were getting too worried. some said that i looked like i was ready to hit the floor. i was close. my mom freaked out on me when she found out i only had one blanket. oh well.

slowly but surely im getting better...only for school.

Current Mood: restlessrestless
Current Music: rap

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December 25th, 2006
05:57 pm

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Christmas Eve 06
My Mami:
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Me:
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Equals:
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This year is different...but as long as we have each other nothing else matters.

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December 17th, 2006
10:06 pm

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My mom is finally coming back home tonite!! can't wait. i miss her so much. i decorated her tree and put presents under the tree. a brought out a couple of the x-mas shit out too, but didnt put up a whole lot...well just cause im not a big x-mas fan like she is. for now i think it's enough. im still debating if i should put up the stockings....i dont want her to think too much about certain things.

Current Mood: coldcold
Current Music: Radio-Rap/R&B

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December 11th, 2006
06:47 pm

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Chicago....
Finally went back down with my boys, Tierra De Nadie. man, if i could be around these people at least a couple times a week my life would feel complete, chaotic and protected:

My Goons:
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My guys, Robert, Kano, and Jeremiah (tierra de nadie)
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sooo much fun. it's such an amazin feeling when you see peoples faces and voices reach a climax of excitment just by seeing you. it's a total cloud nine kinda shit. a place to belong and be accepted in. god fuckin damnit, i love chicago, why couldnt i be there?! soon. soon.

Current Mood: okayokay

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December 8th, 2006
06:12 am

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so, im an official college student...wooo. my first class starts january 15th. cant wait. this was on tuesday. also finally got my review from work and got my raise...what a great day that was. also the guy that sheryl is tryin to hook me up with me almost called me...haha. kinda. he let it ring twice and chickened out. man, that would of been a topper to that day. i guess they're talkin about makin me a lead person before the next chimney season starts. mo money! so if that happens ill once again get 2 raises at work. it's about time bastards!

last weekend, i went to help out at my boss's tree farm. i was the designated fire keeper...it was fuckin hella cold! it was fun as hell.
my boss (for padprinting) is the shit:

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can we say a little tipsy....HA. after we closed down, we just hung out and shit. then we went across the street for their neighbors band practice. music sucked, but hey at least we made it fun. all of us would take turns goin back to the house...i swear open containers were not on our side. now that's the street of spilled alcohol. when dan and i were goin back, we saw this figure on the ground...at first we're like what the fuck..got closer and dan goes "oh, looks like a family member"...haha. it was fuckin my boss gary! he fell down and just layed there like a turtle on his back. freakin hilarious. good fun.

so my mom is currently on her way to central america. got to drive her car, which is a hybrid. it's got an awesome stereo. had to wake up at 3am...and now it's 515am. damnit i should of taken a nap..oh well. it's weird sleepin here again cause the last time i did was in may for my dad's funeral. the memories started pourin into my head. my mom said i fell asleep right away, but i felt like i didnt/couldnt sleep. oh well.

time for coffee...then work...damnit. good thing it's friday damnit.

Current Mood: coldcold
Current Music: lil wayne-stuntin like my daddy (radio)

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November 25th, 2006
06:40 pm

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I Miss Him...
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today is the 6 months mark...it's so weird how time flies.

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November 8th, 2006
06:28 pm

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I got dreams so wide like a country mile
so im finally doin it...

college.

i have to go back on december 5 to actually enroll...then i start in january. holy shit. havent told anyone until now...well except javi. he's the one that really got me. finally told my mom today. im so excited. im goin in for the digital photography certificate. maybe after i finish all this i could go to miad! haha yea right. too pricey on that one.

saw me some strippers this past weekend. so much fun. it was a comedy club attached to silk...male strippers are fun but yet so amusing. while watchin i was also talkin to the bartender. was awesome. went to chicago weekend before that for josh's bday. got there sunday...monday was my first EVER day off in a year and a half at my work. my mom and my bosses were pushin me to get the hell out! haha. nice.

saw troy's band play. good shit. took some photos. that same day was company bowlin, so christine and rick came with me...good thing cause i was in no fuckin shape to drive. next mornin i realized that i had dranked for over 12 hours straight. insane.

what else:
oh my review for my job is comin up. quite excited for it. better be gettin at least a $1. if not, then im not translating anymore. fuck that. also might get lead person for chimney. troy said in the next couple weeks my plate is gonna be full as hell. cant wait. it's about time, give me some challenges! also goin through a class at work to read a ruler. yes lame i know, but im so happy with it. i never really knew where everythin but the inch and 1/2 where. it's goin good.

see, im not such a bum wasting a life after all. things are sort of starting to look up. hopefully it'll stay like that. college...cant fuckin wait! all i need know is to get over this cold.

Current Mood: sicksick

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